Things I Didn't Know Were Erotic

Sometimes eros surprises. Here are some things I didn't know were erotic until I saw them. Enjoy your stay. :)

The Potato Tapes

It is not well known that in the making of the “Below the Line – final lunch Day 5” video, there were several outtakes. Observers have noted that Tom looks nearly crazed in his desire to eat his plain baked potato at the end of the short clip that was released. The reason for this is that he had been filming for almost four hours.

Transcripts of the outtakes have just been made available to the public.

It seems the potatoes originally sent by the casting agency were… a little too raw.

image

TAKE 1

TOM:

Hello, I’m Tom Hiddleston. I’m recording this from my kitchen, and this is just to say—

SOUND FROM THE OVEN:

Unnhhh.

TOM:

What was that?

OVEN:

Hnnnnggg

(Tom opens the oven)

POTATO:

Oh. God. Unnhhh.

TOM:

Will you be quiet in there? I’m trying to do this in one take.

POTATO:

I’m sorry, I’m just… you poked me… with a fork, and it’s just… I can still feel the steely tines under my skin and…

TOM:

(with irritation)

I’m terribly sorry, but it’s all part of baking you, darling.

POTATO:

No, it’s all right. I…. I liked it.

CAMERAMAN:

Oh, dear God.

TOM:

(heavy sigh)

We need a new potato here.

TAKE 2

TOM:

The challenge is to live off a pound a day for food and drink, for five days.

(Tom opens the oven.)

POTATO:

(jumps forward on the rack)

I’ll give you more than one pound a day, Baby.

TOM:

Motherf—-

TAKE 3

TOM:

Never has a baked potato looked so good.

POTATO:

YOU LOOK GOOD TOM! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD WITH YOUR LITTLE SWEATER THAT YOU WEAR ALL THE TIME AND YOUR CHEST HAIR AND YOUR FUCKING OVEN MITT AND ASDSJKLGJFDLK; YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING ME CRACKLE RIGHT NOW

TOM:

(cries)

I just want to eat…

CAMERAMAN:

Just cut the eyes out of the next one.

TOM:

(a startled look)

(picks up knife)

(darkly)

Turn the camera off for a second.

TAKE 4

TOM: Um… It’s time to eat.

image

  1. acaypa reblogged this from thingsididntknowwereerotic
  2. pencilwars reblogged this from thingsididntknowwereerotic and added:
    Cut the eyes out. CUT THE EYES OUT. HANNIBAL!TOM. OH GOD. thingsididntknowwereerotic set out to kill me when she sent me...
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    Bwahahahah! I’m dying here!
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